Larry B Gray

  A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd(alternating between bride's side and groom's side).While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROA...

   Theme Songs for Bible Characters Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"* Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"* Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"* Esther: "I Feel Pretty"* Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"* Moses: "The Wanderer"* Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"* Samson: "Hair"* Salom...

 Two sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean, looking for something to do. They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes. Bob, the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and ate everything on the ship. A little while later, they came up to another ship, agai...

   Odd Signs From England Sign in a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT. * Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS * In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAYPLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS...

  A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died. "Well, then, just give me my money back." Can't do that....

  TerroristA public school teacher was arrested at Heathrow Airport today for attempting to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al Gebra movement. He has been charged with carrying weapons o...

  A friend and I were standing inside a building of a local theme park. We were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day. The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10", 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough time trying to not be blown a...

   Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid  A few clowns short of a circus. * A few fries short of a happy meal. * The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. * All foam, no beer. * The butter has slipped off his pancake. * The cheese slid off his cracker. *Body by Fisher, brains by M...

  Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? * **If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in one take so long? * **How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water? * **When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents...

  There once was an unemployed man who goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your...