Larry B Gray

  To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.***** The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.***** When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.***** You know its time for a New Year’s Resolution to lose weig...

   Altruisms Men are like slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen." "Health nuts are going to feel st...

  A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" "Yes.". "Do you read your Bible every day?" She nodded her head, "Yes." Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and agai...

   Elvis' Senior Citizen Song Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight? Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums? Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day... When you had all your teeth and your gums? Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim? Hysterectomy for her, and i...

  During weekly visits to my allergist, I’ve noticed a lot of inattentive parents with ill-behaved children in the waiting room. So I was impressed one day to see a mother with her little boy, helping him sound out the words on a sign.Finally he mastered it and his mother cheered, "That’s great! ...

  According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in th...

  Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Hamleys one Christmas Eve.Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'Dad replied with a glint in his e...

  One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof.Snowman As...

  Man walks into the barbershop, sits down in the chair and the barber asks, "How do you want your haircut?"The man says, " I would like the sideburns one high and one low, a few long hairs sticking out of the back and a few chunks on the side and top."The barber looks puzzled and says, "I'm not ...

  Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean, and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's n...