Larry B Gray

  The Law of Reality Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. The Law of Self Sacrifice When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. The Law of Volunteering If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. The Law of Motivation Creativity is great...

  A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it w...

  An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about 2 miles north of the Missouri state line. When the Deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Branson to do a show that night and didn't want to be lat...

  Some Uninteresting But Totally Useless Information #2   It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based,...

  Some Uninteresting But Totally Useless Information   What occurs more often in December than any other month? -- Conception * Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex. What is it? -- Skinny dipping * What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS, from every other TV show? -- No ...

  Did You Know The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. It is impossible to li...

  A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the yo...

  A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark Chapter 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had re...

    A Corporate Lesson   A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox ...

  "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class. "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, wou...