Larry B Gray

  The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend a lot of money. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,...

  An attorney was frustrated that lawyers had such a reputation for dishonesty. He decided to have his little say in defense of lawyers even after his death and added to his will that his grave stone was to be clearly marked HERE LIES A LAWYER AND AN HONEST MAN!Problem was, everybody concluded th...

  A woman died and found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?" To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must d...

  A priest, seeing a blank signboard hanging on a lamppost wrote upon it: "I pray for all." A Solicitor wrote underneath: "I plead for all." A doctor added: "I prescribe for all." A simple citizen wrote: "I pay for all." * Wife : you delivered an excellent speech. Hubby : Thanks dear, but the aud...

  After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary: "Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those people were feeling bored!" The secretary replied, "Sir, it wasn't a lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake- I gave you all 3 copies of the speech."  * A Rotary v...

  The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."  * A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see t...

  A Grave Situation On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young. * In a Ribbesford, England cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And t...

  Once a youg woman married a very wealthy man they lived many happy years until after about 10 years he passed away, of course leaving her a very wealthy widow. Still being young after her husband had been dead a few years she met an actor they married and she saw many broadway shows, many of wh...

  A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," s...

  Men are like...Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.* Men are like...Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.* Men are like...Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.* Men are like...Commercials. You can't believe...