Larry B Gray

    A little weather humor for those of you who are experiencing a taste what mother nature can do right about now...60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.40 degrees - You can see your ...

    A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next t...

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing uprig...

  You Know You're Too Stressed if... Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest. * You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * The Sun is too l...

    You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When... 1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. 2. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. 3. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. 4. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. 5. You l...

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but ...

    Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain. Why's that? My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.* Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly - how about a paper bag?* Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me. Next, please!* Do...

    In a murder trial, the defense attorneywas cross-examining a pathologist. Here`s what happened: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No. Att...

    The $100 Prayer A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to GOD, U.S.A., they decided to send it to the President. The President was so imp...

    Daffynitions Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law! Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance. Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf". "Normal": A setting on a washing machine.. Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off. Cynic: Someone who smells the...