Larry B Gray

    Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery   Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!* Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?* Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie...* Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.* Oops! Hey, has anyone ev...

    A Couple More Quickies   A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."~ A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forev...

    A Couple of Quickies     A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."~ There were three Indian squa...

    Dumb Criminals When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. * A police spokesman said that the man admitted to t...

    Wish I'd Said That   We the unwilling, working for the ungrateful, are doing the impossible. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track, only to discover that you're on...

    Joe, the CEO's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The CEO had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from sending memos to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the CEO didn't take kindly to the droves of ambi...

    Football News The National Football League recently announced a new era. From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the team rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced, yesterday, its name changes and schedules for the      2015 ...

    Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up...

    A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No,...

    A Grave Situation   On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young. * In a Ribbesford, England cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, ...