Larry B Gray

  Top 10 Signs You're Too Old for Trick or Treating 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, "Great...

   Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, his reputation as someone who was not dedicated to the job, seemed to follow him around.One day the phone rang at his office. Although Bob did not usually pick up the phone, he picked it u...

   Sayings That Should Be On . . . Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. * Make yourself at Home! Clean my kitchen. * Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? * Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. * This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. * I starte...

  An attorney was driving through the country side when his car failed him. He looked under the hood and knocked a few items around with a hammer. In the process he knocked off a gas line and got his arm soaked with gas before getting it back on. Discouraged, he attempted to start his car. Much t...

   The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but...

   You Know You're a Redneck When...  You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.. You burn your yard rath...

  Three doctors are returning from a conference when a truck crosses the median and hits their limo. All of a sudden they are face to face with St. Peter. He looks at the doctors and says "Tell me why I should let you into Heaven. " The first doctor says "I won the Nobel Prize in Medicine." "OK!"...

  The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. You don't want to try these techniques at home: "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, t...

  The high school coaches in St. Landry Parish Louisiana went to a coaches retreat. To save money they had to room together. No one wanted to room with coach Boudreaux because he snores so bad. They decide it's not fair to make one of dem stay wit him the whole time so they vote to take turns.Coa...

  A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and sai...