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Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty )

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Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® CRS,ABR,PSA,RCS-D, ePRO
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
Serving Coastal San Diego, Veteran's & Seniors

"Relax" seems to have morphed into a condescending remark especially to women - and I say that from experience. Both my bride and my sister have taken me to school when I've said it to them and I was not trying to condescend them, I was literally trying to say "stay calm, we'll sort this out."

So now I say: "no worries, let's sort this out."
I refrain from saying "Relax" unless I'm singing
Frankie Goes To Hollywood 😂

Feb 19, 2023 09:12 AM
Rainmaker
1,090,525
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

My thought is: telling someone to relax when they're agitated is not sensible, it comes across as insensitive and condescending. It's highly unlikely to accomplish anything constructive. If somebody is agitated, be still and take a breath, chances are once you do they will. Then you can find out how to fix things.

Feb 19, 2023 02:54 PM
Rainmaker
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Ryan Huggins - Thousand Oaks, CA
https://HugginsHomes.com - Thousand Oaks, CA
Residential Real Estate and Investment Properties

In the immortal words of "Frankie Goes to Hollywood".... "Relax, don't do it."

 

There are times that realx and calm down work, and there are times it's like throwing gas onto a fire.

Feb 19, 2023 10:20 AM
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Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
The best agent in Southern Utah!

Telling someone to relax or 'calm down' when things get heated can bring about a spicey word salad response! I refuse to participate in those types of scenarios and will hang up the phone or exit.

Feb 19, 2023 09:58 AM
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Most would think that but, it really has to do with the scenario, Richie Alan. Then again, some are going to be 'offended' no matta' what!! 

Feb 19, 2023 05:05 PM
Rainer
195,689
Karen Climer
Demetree School of Real Estate - Orlando, FL
Teaching people to pass the real estate exam

I AM RELAXED!!!!!  😂😂😂

Feb 19, 2023 01:47 PM
Rainer
405,479
Don Baker
Lane Realty - Eatonton, GA
Lake Sinclair Specialist

Depends on tone and who you are talking to.  I can still say it to my brother and some of my Army buds with no insult taken, others I change up what I say and make it "hey, I'm here too and we'll figure this out"

Feb 19, 2023 11:28 AM
Rainmaker
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Shayne Stone
HomeSmart - Fulshear, TX
"Your Rock Solid Choice Realtor" RETIRED

I think those are the same type of people who can't freaking handle a joke today - LOL

LMAO - Just saw this post on FB...

 

Feb 19, 2023 10:02 AM
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Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

When folks just can't calm down and are seeing 'red' well it's up to them to find a way to handle it.  Meanwhile it's not my job to tell them what to do but rather excuse myself from the situation.....and re-visit it when whoever isn't seeing 'red'  and over reacting.

Feb 19, 2023 09:40 AM
Rainmaker
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Olga Simoncelli
Veritas Prime, LLC dba Veritas Prime Real Estate - New Fairfield, CT
CONSULTANT, Real Estate Services & Risk Management

I think that in most situations it's kind of rude to tell someone to relax.

Feb 19, 2023 09:07 AM
Rainmaker
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Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Oswego, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

I am constantly telling my grandson to "be calm" and you maintain control. And, sometimes I have to remind myself! "Relax" adds fuel to the fire although it should not.

Feb 20, 2023 04:14 AM
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Brenda Mayette
Miranda Real Estate Group, Inc. - Glenville, NY
Getting results w/ knowledge & know-how!

While the intention is to defuse the situation, many people being told to "relax" feel like their emotions are being discounted...  Fully expressing the need to step a way for a bit to allow parties to reset is certainly appropriate if done the "right" way (i.e. more than a perceived demand to relax). 

Feb 20, 2023 05:11 AM
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Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

We live in a very sensitive world these days, people are overly emotional about everything and it is even difficult to know what is true and untrue.

Feb 20, 2023 04:38 AM
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Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

I too would refrain from saying Relax for fearing of backlash.

Feb 19, 2023 12:37 PM
Ambassador
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Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home again, home again...

You might just as well be saying "Calm the @#$% down!".  Do you suppose that would help, or hinder?

Feb 19, 2023 12:01 PM
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Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Context Richie Alan Naggar????

Who self-appoints to determine it is their job to tell anyone what to do or how to do it?

People who can only see their perspective on things therefore people with a different perspective (point of view) need a reset or otherwise come to their senses. 

Who determines "reason" in any situation?  

My perspective on this question is it lacks context.  It is overbroad.  Please provide an example of what you speak. 

Feb 19, 2023 09:38 AM
Rainmaker
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Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Evolution - 447 Boston Street, Suite #5, Topsfield, MA - Topsfield, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

When people are like that you really can't do anything until they calm down on their own.

Feb 19, 2023 08:19 PM
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Susan Emo
Kingston, ON
Kingston and the 1000 Islands Area

Isn't that in the same camp as telling someone to "Cheer Up"?

Feb 20, 2023 09:23 AM
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Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 602.710.8161 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Saying "Relax" to someone is similar to saying to a shy person "Don't be shy". In both cases it's not an instant thing, and cannot happen at a direct recommendation or command. Somebody saying "relax" is more thinking of themselves, "Oh, I cannot handle this much agitation from this person". 🙂Good points to think about, Richie Alan Naggar !

Feb 20, 2023 07:43 AM
Rainmaker
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Lynnea Miller
Bend Premier Real Estate - Bend, OR
Premier Real Estate Service in Central Oregon

Sometimes "sleeping on it" makes a difference.  Taking time away from a tense situation can provide objectivity.

Feb 20, 2023 11:21 AM
Rainmaker
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Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

When someone is past the point of no return -- relaxing is the last thing they are wlling or able to do -- so walking away and allowing time to settle things is often the best remedy.  And saying a prayer for that person is helpful too!

Feb 20, 2023 07:25 AM
Ambassador
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Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Tone, it's all in the tone.  I'm certain I could make the same person go both ways with it helping them relax or sending them into a tailspin.

Feb 20, 2023 06:53 AM
Rainmaker
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Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

The person that needs to 'relax' thinks you are dissing their situation. Some people & their temper makes things worse for themselves.

Feb 20, 2023 06:01 AM
Rainmaker
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Ray Henson
Retired - Goodyear, AZ
Retired Real Estate Agent

It depends on how the term, relax, is used.  I often hear it directed at me right after the person using the term has done something very insulting or offensive.  In that case, it might be better to address the underlying cause of the aggravation.  It is a very different scenario if the person saying, "relax," has a relationship with me and has earned the right to say it.  I think of my wife, for example.  😃  It is fine to show your emotion when the situation warrants it. 

Feb 20, 2023 07:56 AM
Rainmaker
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Peter Mohylsky, Beach Broker
PMI. Destin - Miramar Beach, FL
Call me at 850-517-7098

Happy Birthday, George Washington.  so relax today 

Feb 20, 2023 07:31 AM
Rainer
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Sharon Altier
Coldwell Banker Realty - Elmhurst, IL
Luxury Property Specialist, CSC, SFR

As with any other words, it is the tone and delivery that truly add gas to the fire.  I agree with others that this reply is usually perceived as condescending and may only turn the person's wrath to you.  

Feb 21, 2023 08:03 AM
Rainmaker
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Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

Telling someone to mello out when they are already past the boiling point can be like throwing gas on a fire Richie Alan Naggar . They already lost their cool.

If they appear to have violent tendencies a officer of the law with his/her gun drawn saying "relax" may  work. 😊

Feb 20, 2023 02:08 PM
Ambassador
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

We are emotional beings, sometimes it takes a bit to calm down and see reason.

Feb 21, 2023 07:07 PM
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