Buying a House Is Like Falling In Love.

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Missy Caulk TEAM

 Sold graphicIt has been said that people don't want to be SOLD, they want to buy.  Years ago when I first started my career in Real Estate, I was interviewing different companies around Ann Arbor, and Saline, Mi. I was looking for the "right fit" for me. That meant "no cold calling", "no knocking on doors".  Shortly after, when I started working with buyers, I discovered that wonderful little secret.

My little secret that has made my life fun (most of the time) is that my job was to just introduce people to the homes that matched their criteria and they would either "fall in love" with the right house or move on.falling In love

It completely takes the pressure off of me. There is nothing you can do to fall in love and there is not much you can do to stop it. The experts say that the first thing we fall in love with is the physical appearance of the other person, the way they walk or talk, their personality. It is a strong instinctive attraction. It is very physical, and often times we don't really know why at first.Elvis Falling In love

Buying a house is often like that. You have been out showing homes all day, and found a couple of "possibilities". Which means they would work for them as far as the floor plan, location and price.

Then it happens, Mr. and or Ms Buyer walk in a home and bang it hits them over the head. This is it ! Excitement is all over their faces. Gone is the logic, of yes this will work, it is the right location, the right price. Sometime it is even higher than they wanted to go. But, they have "fallen in love".  People buy with emotions and then justify the price.

Often the decision makes no sense to us, because we're not in love. In fact, logic many times goes out the window. Do you whip out a purchase agreement?  Do you say, "Lets, go back to the office and write this house up, and get it under contract?"

This is not some new revelation, we have all experienced it with our buyers. The lights go on, their pulse increases. At this point, all logic goes out the window. Sometimes like in a relationship it is really not the right house for them. But, nothing will stop them. They have found their house and they are in love.

What have I learned over the years as I discovered this, "little secret".

1)  One man's junk is another man's treasure. Many houses I have sold over the years, didn't appeal to me at all.

2)  Keep my mouth shut about certain features that they may love and I would never live with.

3)  Keep looking until the lights go on.

4)  For my sellers, I encourage them to take every offer seriously, even a low ball offer. If they care enough to sit down and write an offer there is some emotion involved.

5)  There are all kinds of people and tastes, and internally they know when they have found the "right house".

6)  Unless there is some major requirement that is missing, don't try to talk them out of it. (like we need to be 10 minutes to the hospital). Then I would point it out, "this is over 10 minutes to the hospital, are you ok with it being 20 minutes)

7)  That I am not a salesperson, but a match maker. In Jewish literature called a shadchan. match maker match maker

This completely takes the pressure off of me. I love seeing the lights come on. 

Yesterday I closed on 3 houses, two I would not have lived in. But, at the settlement everyone was happy. The sellers were thrilled that the buyers were in love with their former homes. The excitement was still there, the  buyers couldn't wait to move in. Ahh.......all in a days play, opps work !!

Posted by

 

Missy Caulk, Ann Arbor Realtor

Missy Caulk, Broker/Owner of Savvy Realty Group can be reached at 734-926-9797 or email: Missy@MissyCaulk.com

Our Team of 6 agents are available to help you relocate to Ann Arbor, Saline, Dexter, Chelsea, Milan, Ypsilanti Township, Clinton, Manchester, Whitmore Lake, or throughout Washtenaw County, MI.

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Stay strong, stay faithful, stay honest, stay loving, stay true to who you are, most importantly stay true to who God is as you'll be who you are, and you'll be happy, you'll be you, you'll be free. -Jamie Caulk

 

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Rainer
43,385
JR Sangiuliano
CENTURY 21 JRS Realty - Clark, NJ
Very nice perspective on buyers....do you prospect for listings at all?
Aug 09, 2007 03:34 AM #101
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
I mainly list, but started working with buyers when the market when down and my listings weren't selling.
Aug 09, 2007 04:35 AM #102
Rainmaker
826,128
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ
Missy, In over 35 years working with real estate agents, I have come to highly respect the "listing agent". Even though in our title business 90% of our realty referrals come from buying agents, nevertheless, for every ten good buying agents there is one good listing agent. I don't say this to alienate any segment of the industry, but merely to give those hard working listing agents the credit they deserve. Thanks,   Fran
Aug 09, 2007 05:41 AM #103
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Missy Caulk
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Fran, WOW, as a listing agent I order all the pre-committment title for my houses. Very few split closing are here. Some, but not many.

Aug 09, 2007 06:43 AM #104
Anonymous
LIBubble

Very true!

 

A buyer who falls in love with a house is an illogical buyer who will pay more than they would have for the house; which could be alot of money in a cheap credit environment.

 

Illogical buyer + cheap credit = overpriced real estate

 

overpriced real estate - cheap credit = price crash 

 

http://www.longislandbubble.com 

Aug 09, 2007 07:39 AM #105
Rainmaker
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Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ
Missy, That's it. I'll be on the next plane to Michigan.:^)   Thanks, Fran
Aug 09, 2007 07:45 AM #106
Rainer
12,410
Jeffrey Malburg
RE/MAX Acclaim - Roseville, MI
Great post! It's very true! I think the hardest part of it for me is to occasionally keep my mouth shut about things I couldn't live with but aren't a problem with the buyers. It gives me a different perspective, thanks.
Aug 15, 2007 05:46 AM #107
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
Good, Jeff. It is hard to keep my mouth shut too, but I learned early on with mauve carpet.
Aug 15, 2007 06:26 AM #108
Rainmaker
38,980
S W
Seattle, WA

Missy,  I follow the same premise! It in their eyes, and all of a sudden, they relate to that house differently from the rest. Usually, they start talking about furniture, and double checking room layouts, etc.

I also keep my mouth shut about what I don't like about the home. The house is not for me, after all.

I ask about discrepacies, too, when they choose a home that didn't quite match what they wanted. "You mentioned four bedrooms initially. Is three bedrooms something you'll be ok with in the long run? What about that home office you wanted?"

I happen to think nearly all purchasing decisions are emotional decisions. I think people have the need to justify them rationally, for the numbers to work out, etc, but for a "logical" buyer to pan out devoid of emotion is something I've seen very little of. LongIslandBubble said that:

"Illogical buyer + cheap credit = overpriced real estate"

I disagree. I think this is an inaccurate reduction of causes. I think plenty of "logical" buyers who believed they bought unemotionally contributed to the "bubble"...

You can't separate emotion from the human being any more than you can separate biology from a human being. You can suppress emotion, or deny it and not give it a voice, but it is there, within every person, whether they are listening to it or not. Emotion acknowledged and above board can be worked with for the greater end. Emotion suppressed or denied can run a muck, it will still influence, while we've decieved ourselves into thinking we're as logical as Spock.

Aug 15, 2007 07:20 AM #109
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Sara, I totally agree they buy emotionally and justify rationally. Don't we all, when we see that nice Coach purse ? I can use it for years. ha,

Thank God, we can't separate emotions from the rest of our being, it would  be a boring existence.

Appreciate your comments and stopping by.

Aug 15, 2007 07:40 AM #110
Anonymous
Duane

Missy, great post!

I liked the comments:

"5)  There are all kinds of people and tastes, and internally they know when they have found the "right house".

7)  That I am not a salesperson, but a match maker. In Jewish literature called a shadchan. match maker match maker

This completely takes the pressure off of me. I love seeing the lights come on."

 

 

Well put! I still find it important to move the emotional approach into a due diligence approach when touring buyers through the numerous homes they have to choose from these days. I find the best solution is utilizing a rating system and walk through checklist for a couple that determines what home best meets the buyers needs together. This way you become as your little photo says a "Match Maker-Match Maker.

Thanks for the great reading!

Aug 18, 2007 09:49 AM #111
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
Duane, thanks for stopping by. I have found people emotionally fall in love with a house and then justify the price.  We start out showing them their top 10 favorites and then work downward.
Aug 18, 2007 09:59 AM #112
Rainer
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Susie Roscoe
Signature Realty Associates - Brandon, FL
Real Estate Specialist | Brandon, FL
Missy....EXCELLENT!!!  I truly fell in love with the home I live in NOW and that was 6 years ago.  My husband occasionally toys about us moving and I tell him I hope he'll be very happy wherever he ends up!  LOL 
Sep 03, 2007 11:52 AM #113
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Missy Caulk
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Susie, that's great and this is what makes real estate so much fun.
Sep 03, 2007 01:51 PM #114
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Missy, your post reminded me of the high egos some agents have. They say they SOLD 70 homes the previous year. No, the buyers BOUGHT the homes. How arrogant some sales people are!
Oct 20, 2007 05:55 AM #115
Rainer
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Linda Selvage
A Refined Environment - Ventura, CA
A Refined Environment,- Calif.

As a Professional Home Stager, it is absolutely true that a person must bond with a house and be able to see themselves living there ~joyfully~ before they'll make an offer.  However.... I have to say that there IS a fine art to selling!  To me, selling does not mean 'pushing', it means guiding the homeowner/whomever as THEY make their decision.  We guide them by providing the product, the product information, and all the supporting facets of the product that they may or may not have thought of.   This is what selling is to me and it is an important component of the buying process!

 I like your philosophy, Missy! 

Oct 20, 2007 02:04 PM #116
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Gary, true.

Linda, we buy with emotions and justify the price, that's why staging is so important.

Oct 21, 2007 11:25 AM #117
Rainmaker
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Jessica Horton Jessica Horton Realty
Jessica Horton - Jessica Horton & Associates - Griffin, GA
Jessica Horton: I'm not #1... You Are!
Missy: Not sure how I missed this before. I wish that I could hit the little 5 thingy...but it is gone. =[ Buying a house is just like falling in love. Sometimes you have to kiss 20 or 30 frogs to find a prince that you want to keep.
Oct 21, 2007 03:04 PM #118
Rainmaker
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Thesa Chambers
Fred Real Estate Group - Bend, OR
Principal Broker - Licensed in Oregon
now this one I remember - and it was just as good today as the day I read it for the first time....
Oct 21, 2007 04:34 PM #119
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
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Jessica, are you and Thesa following each other in the rain today ? Thanks you both, should be happy or mad at Chris for having us resurrect all these old posts ?
Oct 22, 2007 07:02 AM #120
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