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A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.He decides to test it out at dinner one night.The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.The son says, "I did some schoolwork."The robot slaps the son.The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."Dad ...
"Male Sensitivity" The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of s...
Best cowboy pick up line ever... A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman--- He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of ...
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD....WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE. MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HI...
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me anything about...
Congratulations! to Dan & Deb Kunish on your new river front home! Glad to have helped and feel free to call me anytime!
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's...
Scary Obituary: In 1887 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior: "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy w...
Two Coffees in Heaven Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard. 'Are you Mohammed?'he asks. 'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.Delighted that Mohammed should be higher th...
Obama 4th best president ever. I was just reading... ...after less than 4 years, Obama has been rated the 4th best President ever: Reagan and 9 others tied for first, 15 presidents tied for second, and 18 other presidents tied for third. Obama came in fourth.