Steve Peters, Jr.'s Blog

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden to eat meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Cathol...

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?  Here is a little test that will help you decide.  The answer can be found by posing the following question:   You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the co...

    A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.    "Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son!    "Ok, I watched a DVD at my friend’s house!" the son says "What DVD?" asks the father "Toy story." Robot slap...

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?SYLVIA: I froze to death.WANDA: How horrible!SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that m...

    THE NIGHT WATCHMAN   Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.  The Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.  Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job wit...

The Best Story of the Year: The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like  to express praise for answered prayers.  Susie Smith stood and walked to  the podium. She said, "I have a praise.  Two months  ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was  completely ...

        Scary Obituary     In 1887 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh , had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior: "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. ...

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 60th birthday and she was a bit lonely.She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling Himself Tender Tonya very hands...

The $50 LessonRecently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.... She said she wanted to be President ...

    NO SEX SINCE 1955A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem...