CANDACE STEVENS's (numbercruncherllc) Blog

This is a story I read in Reader's Digest years ago.  It isn't word for word but it is still funny.A family had a dog who hated taking baths.  The only way they could get the dog to behave is to threaten it with a bath.  One day a biker was riding by their house and their dog started barking at t...

A pirate had a wooden leg, a hook on one arm, and a patch over one eye. Someone asked him how these things happened. He said that a whale bit off his leg, a crocodile had chewed off his hand, and a bird dropping hit him in the eye. The other guy replied that he understood about the wooden leg hav...

At Number Cruncher LLC we like to educate taxpayers.  One item taxpayers need to know is that if they don't receive a W-2/1099 or the like, they still need to file a tax return as well as file it on time. It's a fact that mail gets lost.  The IRS isn't going to let that excuse reduce penalties an...

The bidding was proceeding furiously and strong when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, 'A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand pounds. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand pounds. There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of...

The building is all completed and awaiting handover, before that can happen, Alex wants some poor and incomplete work finished as is normal at these times. A meeting is arranged between Alex, the main contractor, and a sub-contractor, site agent, planning supervisor, and site safety manager. A to...

You have been diligent and have been keeping the receipts for your business purchases. However, they are taking up A LOT of room. You look at your piles, maybe even boxes, of receipts and ask yourself, “How long do I have to keep all these blasted receipts?”  The IRS answer is “Keep each supporti...

 Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in. Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi d...

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange san...

 Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.'  The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.' Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would lik...

My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, unlike the screaming passengers in his car.