Larry B Gray

  Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother.The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , what happened to your hand!?! " The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook."...

  A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. His mother (remembering he had already spent all his allowance) asked him where he got it. "I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said. "But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied. "I know, Mom," he said, "but th...

  One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. P...

  The pastor's church is called Almighty God Tabernacle. On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone. The pastor let it ring many times. He thought it was odd...

  As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When t...

  An angel appears at a College faculty meeting and tells the Dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating, the Dean selects infinite wisdom.“Done!” says the angel...

  Happy New Year  This new year I will be less sarcastic and more positive and ill be very nice and kind To everyone around me and my plan is not to screw up !:p I know exactly how I will be spending my new year. One the couch watching fireworks on Television all alone. Why would I need a New Yea...

  To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.***** The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.***** When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.***** You know its time for a New Year’s Resolution to lose weig...

   Altruisms Men are like slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen." "Health nuts are going to feel st...

  A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" "Yes.". "Do you read your Bible every day?" She nodded her head, "Yes." Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and agai...