Larry B Gray

  Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" T...

  Eighty-year-old Bessie bursts into the recreation room of the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand, can take me out to dinner tonight!" A witty, elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a min...

  Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles.In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy. They asked him...

  Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother.The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , what happened to your hand!?! " The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook."...

  A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. His mother (remembering he had already spent all his allowance) asked him where he got it. "I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said. "But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied. "I know, Mom," he said, "but th...

  One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. P...

  The pastor's church is called Almighty God Tabernacle. On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone. The pastor let it ring many times. He thought it was odd...

  As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When t...

  An angel appears at a College faculty meeting and tells the Dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating, the Dean selects infinite wisdom.“Done!” says the angel...

  Happy New Year  This new year I will be less sarcastic and more positive and ill be very nice and kind To everyone around me and my plan is not to screw up !:p I know exactly how I will be spending my new year. One the couch watching fireworks on Television all alone. Why would I need a New Yea...