Larry B Gray

  Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives....

    Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A. “Where’s pop corn?” VN:F [1.9.22_1171]     Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground beef. VN:F [1.9.22_1171]     Guy 1:somebody said you sounded like an owl. Guy 2:who? VN:F [1.9.22_1171]     Did you hear the joke about the toilet? N...

  There were three men on a hill with their watches. The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke. The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke. The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it. The other two men were puzzled a...

  How'd the redneck git lost in space? He rolled down the window to spit out his chaw!   Do you know how to tell if you're staying in a redneck hotel? When you call the front desk saying I've got a leak in the sink and the front desk person says go ahead.   If you bet somebody 5 bucks for someth...

My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu, she was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor. After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and check...

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: Did you hear about that new broom? A: It's sweeping the nation! Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? A: An irrelephant. Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits! Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel. Q:...

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”The following Sunday, ...

  A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.    The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."   "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes hi...

  A Vietnamese man walked into a restaurant in Los Angelas and saw Mr. Steven Spielberg sitting down. He rushed over and asked for his autograph. Spielberg said, "I don't think so .. you guys attacked our naval base in Pearl Harbor." The astonished Vietnamese replied, "It wasn't the Vietnamese w...

  When Jim walked into the office, he knew something was up. There was a message on his desk that the boss wanted to see him as soon as he arrived. The boss didn't look very happy when Jim reported to his office. The older man didn't say anything, he just pointed at the newspaper on his desk. It...