Larry B Gray

  Academic Phrases    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the origi...

As the movie progressed I was getting more and more annoyed, WILL THEY EVER BE QUIET? I silently fumed. Finally after close to a half hour into the movie I tapped the blabbermouth  in front of me on the shoulder and politely said, “excuse me Ma’am but I can’t hear.”  ”YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO!” s...

  Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation. Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q: What kind of man was Boaz be...

  An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."     Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!     A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a bo...

  Fisherman Tongue Twister         There was a fisherman named Fisher who fished for some fish in a fissure. Till a fish with a grin, pulled the fisherman in. Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher. VN:F [1.9.22_1171]         Thinking Tongue Twister   I thought a thought. But the thought I t...

“C’mon Ma you have got to try it” I pleaded to my elderly Mother. I don’t know how my Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough! I thought. “Ok” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses “what do I do now?” “...

A hat was passed around a church congregation to take up an offering for the visiting minister. Presently, it was returned to him...embarrassingly empty. Slowly, the parson inverted the hat and shook it meaningfully. Then, raising his eyes heavenward, he exclaimed, "I thank you, Lord, that I got...

  Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor." Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous." Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor." Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?" Lena: "In da lake."     ...

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week." "Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for he...

    Q. Why did the three little pigs decide to leave home? A. They thought their father was an awful boar       When were pigs made?   In the Saus-age       Q. What's a pig's favorite ballet? A. Swine Lake.       What is a crafty pig called?   CunningHAM.       If a pig is sold to the pawn shop ...