ARE YOU TIRED OF LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS? DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND THINK YOU'RE A MAMA'S BOY? DO YOU STILL HAVE A CURFEW?
Well, get off you're a_ _ and buy yourself a house!!
There has never been a better time!
BUT STAY AWAY FROM THE CLASSIFIED ADS - they'll get you nothing but heartbreak:
*SPACIOUS - average
*CHARMING - small
*COMFORTABLE - tiny
*COZY - hamster cage
*WALK TO STORES - nowhere to park your car
*LOW MAINTENANCE - no grass
*BRIGHT & SUNNY - blinds not included
*PRESTIGIOUS - Bill Gates couldn't afford it
*NATURAL SETTING - forget about gardening, the deer will eat everything
*SPRAWLING RANCH - inefficient floor plan
*UNAFFECTED CHARM - needs to be entirely rebuilt
*SECLUDED SETTING - B.F.E.
*HURRY! WON'T LAST! - condemned
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Did you know that there are lending programs to help first-time buyers with their down payment?
I work within your price range and help you find a lender to fit your specific needs;
I work with you and for you, at no cost to you; I guarantee a no-pressure experience that can actually be lots of fun!
This is how we get started:
1. You tell me your price range and what you're looking for, and I set you up on an automatic e-mail search that will send you all properties matching your criteria.
For instance, if you're looking for a home with three bedrooms, two baths, and a two car attached garage, you won't be bombarded with two bedroom homes with a one car shed, and an outhouse. Unless you really want an outhouse, at which point I'll suggest we visit a couple of farms.
2. You pick your favorites, I make the appointments, we see 'em all. You picked 19 houses? Fine with me. Better bring your Red Bull.
3. During the house hunting process, I will educate you on how to determine the worth of a home, what to avoid when choosing a home, what to expect when you make an offer, the purpose of a home inspection, the role of the attorney in the home buying process, and how to save money on your tax bills. I will assure that you are completely knowledgeable in the home buying process before you make your selection.
And since all of this is at no cost to you, you have absolutely nothing to lose!
So before you close this ad and move on to You Tube, or eBay, or some other questionable website that will probably get you in trouble, give me a call.. .
Helen Mazur
