Barb - I am so sorry to hear about your husband's job, I know it hurts.  After working for a place that long you really feel loyal and expect the same.  If you notice today's workers they stay at one place for only a few years, the old days when loyalty matters is long gone.  With your husband's experience can he get a job at another oil company? Glad to hear business is picking up for you.

Barb, it is hard to understand why things happen the way they do sometimes.  But, I have seen good people always land on their feet.   One of my team members puts this on every email and I think it would help you now...

"Trust in the Lord ... lean not on your own understanding."

Sometimes it does seem like loyalty is a lost art... but they say things happen for a reason. I can only believe that the selling of this company will open a new, better door for your husband and your family. I will keep you in my prayers - stay strong, and know you're not alone. You have lots of AR friends to help you along the way!

Barbara, I am so sorry to hear this. Will your husband be staying on under the new management or will he move on? When one door closes another usually opens. I will keep your family in my prayers. Love, C.

Barbara-I know it is hard to get this kind of news. I had worked for the same company 17 years when the owner passed away from a massive heart attack. The company was closed down because her son didn't want anything to do with the business. It was really wierd starting over again. I don't think we ever quit giving freely of ourselves in Real Estate.

When you get a sale to go bad, you think, that's it no more Mr nice guy and then in walks a client that you really want to help get the home of their dreams. I guess you just do the best you can for each client and then when you lay your head down to sleep at night, you don't have any guilty or remorseful feelings hanging over you.

Your family will be in my prayers and I hope everything works out good or even better than before..

Jenn- Right now things are uncertain but- I know it will work out. I think it is trye that people do change jobs more often.... Thanks for the support

Cindy- I do trust the Lord- Understanding right now is difficult= I love the quote- Thank you so much

Debbie- The Active Rain Community is awesaome! Thanks

C- Phew it has been a week from hell! I think for the time being he will stay on- We will have to see- Thanks

Laura- I agree- I do want to be able to sleep at not and not feel guilty- These days I can't sleep- tying to figure out others..... The more I tell myself I have to move on- the less I sleep! A lot od disallussion- Thank you

I know you and daddy will be okay.  Jennifer is right, people don't stay at jobs any longer, but being someone who's moved from job to job to job, I know that's what you have to do these days.  Pensions are gone, maximum raises are 5% and workers just aren't appreciated.  If you want to make more money and move up the coprporate ladder, you have to move from job to job. 

But things were different for daddy.  He worked hard and was compensated well for it.  If daddy worked for a big company and this happened- it wouldn't have been a surprise, but since he worked for 1 man it was a total slap in the face.

Maybe God is helping us out by giving us some more real estate business. God will take care of us all.  I know sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen, but God does have a plan for all of us.

I am sorry to hear what has happened regarding your husband's job.  Things like that are never easy to swallow.  The real estate market is still adjusting itself.  Hang in there!  We are here for you when you need us.

Morning Barbara,

I feel for you and your family. So many times we are treated like brick and mortar rather then humans. I once represented a company that dealt with its personnel this way. A very difficult job to say the least. Not my way of doing business. I had to move on!

We are who we are and, trust me, we always will be. It just comes natural to us and we do without forethought. We would be less of a person to do otherwise.

As for the job loss and financial setback, I pray there is an upside to this situation. Beyond that, I am at a loss for words.

I am so sorry to hear this Barbara.  I know that few people can say they worked for the same employer for such a long time and that this was a total shock coming the way it did.  I do believe that when one door closes another opens up.  Hang in there and know you are in my thoughts.  BTW I was up in New Paltz today again looking at an investment.  Maybe I will call you tomorrow to talk about it.  I would like a local impression. Have a great Sunday and have faith things will work out for the best. 

Hi Barbara.  This too shall pass.

Keep smiling,

Ken

Sorry to hear about this - Know you are in our thoughts and prayers.

As for giving of yourself - Keep it up. It is who you are!

Babara, your post stirred up a lot of old feelings and memories of a family run business sold out to a behemoth in my past.

A couple of years out of college I went to work for a Husband and Wife run computer retailer -- popular in the old days -- not so popular today.  But I ran a brand new store location for them for about 3 years and then felt the need to move on.  I moved on to a distribution company and then to a manufacturing company in the computer industry -- this was before the rampant mergers, acquisitions and  right sizing that happened in later years.  I settled in the manufacturing side until they decided to merge with another company and right sized a bunch of us in the sales/marketing group out onto the street. 

I revisited the mom and pop company and found that they had restructured from retailer to outbound corporate reseller.  This worked really well for me given my recent corporate experience and I went back.  I felt safe and secure at that company and put my heart and soul into the job working late hours and weekends -- unheard of for corporate sales at that time.  Then, at a Friday morning sales meeting the owner introduced us to a bunch of "suits" from a huge company called Inacom.  I left the room in tears -- it was like being told a loved one was about to die and there was nothing I could do about it.  I stayed for 6 months to get the bonus pay offered for staying during the transition and then left.  About 18 months later Inacom, a worldwide billion dollar company, went belly up.  Little did I know just how bad that death would be - it not only hurt that little location I worked for but every location worldwide -- they destroyed it all.

After that experience I couldn't "connect" and put my heart and soul into a "job" again.  It was as though I lost my way, my trust and my ability to have a passion for a job -- I simply couldn't get myself "engaged" in the process.  That happened in 1998 -- I still don't feel like I'm entirely over it.  I still grieve that loss. 

But on the bright side -- I have found my way into real estate.  I am learning a lot of new things.  When I started, I signed up with an office -- that didn't work out.  Went to another office -- that didn't work out.  Here in Modoc County worked for an existing office -- that one didn't work either -- well that experience made me MAD so I got my brokers license and opened my own office.  I am more engaged now than I have been since 1998.  I have a long way to go.  I've only had my office since 2006 in this very small market and it is a struggle.  But I'm determined to make it work -- come He** or High Water !

To both of you, if you experience that sense of grief at watching a company die -- let yourselves grieve.  And, no, you'll never be the same afterward.  You'll probably be better !

Sending you heartfelt prayers to guide you along the way.

~Evelyn

Loyalty is, to me, the highest personal trait.  Nothing else even comes close.  In fact, I consider people with questionable loyalth to have a character flaw. 

Becky- I know we will be fine.. We just have to hang in there-

Mel- I can not put into words what having the support of this online community means to me.

Hal- Thank you for the prayers- they mean so much to me

Paddy- I would be happy to help in anyway with your venture! I think it is a great idea!

Ken- How well you know- This two shall pass- If I can have half of your determination- I will be fine!

Susan- You are right it is who I am- Thanks

Evelyn- Your comment means so much to me- It made me realize what you are saying is exactly it- We fell like it was a death- We both gave our heart and soul to the business- I worked part time there for years and our family revolved around my husbands job- If someone had no heat Christmas was put on hold- Never did we get through a Thanksgiving dinner without my husband having to leave to go out to repair a furnace.

We are grieving the loss of what was a good friend! Thanks for putting it into words for us-

I wish you the best of luck with your office- I can hear your passion in the comment you wrote- You will do wonderful! Thank you so much

Lenn- I agree- It is hard to get past.

Barbara,

Wouldn't you know you'd get featured when writing a post in a 'downer' mood...Congratulations on the feature! Whenever doors are closed, new doors open...wait and see! I'll pray for you and your family...keep us posted!!! Thanks,   Fran

I'm sorry this happened to your family and surely, it couldn't be a worse time.  Just remember, the sun always comes up the next day and there will be a better opportunity waiting.  Please let uw know how things turn out.  Our thoughts are with you.

Barbara, I'm so sorry about the disappointment with your husbands job- that's very tough.

Sorry to hear about your husbands job. I keep telling my husband that his job can be here today and gone tomorrow, but he doesn't belive me. I don't know what we would do without his income. Real Estate hasn't been what it was 5 years ago when I started and it's hard enough to find the buyers let alone pray that they close and you get paid for all of your time and effort. Has your husband ever considered joining you and your daughter in Real Estate?

Barbara - hang in there & be strong.  It is a different day & age now as you know.  It's tought but you can do it & will persevere.  What doesn't kill you only makes us stronger.  Kristin

Barbara, this experience is hard to take, but I hope you don't change and give less of yourself because someone else let you down. My tennis coach used to say, "don't get sucked into what your opponent is doing, play your own game".  Live the way you think is right and don't stoop to someone else's level. Wouldn't it be great if everyone had loyalty and consideration for others? I think that if you continue to be an open, caring person and treat others the way you want to be treated, you will find many other people in the world who are the same way.

The cold hard truth is, there is little loyalty in this business. There are certain clients that I treasure...we became friends as a result of meeting through a real estate need and I believe that if they ever need to buy or sell again, we'd be the ones they call. But those folks are few and far between.

Look how this business has changed. Ten years ago, if you wanted to buy or sell real estate, you HAD to have a Realtor. Realtors were the keepers of the information. Not so today. In some sense, are merely conduits.

If loyalty and committment come your way, consider yourself blessed....but more and more, I believe it is the exception, not the rule.

Fran- I didn't know it was featured- Yipes- you are right of all the blogs to feature! Go figure? The prayers are much appreciated. We really need help knowing in which direction to go. I know we will be lead if we have faith. Thanks my firend!

I am sorry to hear about the turn in your husband's business bit I think that no matter what you and those in your family will always do good work and always give your best because that's what good people always do. Good luck in the future!

Diane- I hope a better opportunity comes up- I think as Evelyn stated in her comments it is like a grief process for us.

Options- Thank you

Johanna- The funny thing is that he sort of has been in the real estate business with us- He pays the accumulating bills- I can not see him selling real estate- he has thought about getting his NYS Inspectors license though- Who knows that could be a possibilty-

Kristin- We can't let it kill us- we have already given so much of our lives.

Colleen- Funny you should say that I always tell the kids to "play their own game" great advice!

Carol- We do try to focus on the customers that will be loyal- We are asking for buyers agency agreements and talk to them about loyalty- My daughter has a great script!

Barbara - Thank so much for your post and it really sounds like it came from the heart. I am so sorry for your husband and the loss of his job, it's been very difficult for so many people around the country and world. I am not sure how far it will continue to fall down. I am hoping after election things will swing up in spring, cross your finger.

Thank you again for the post and hang in there kid!

Robert

Robert- We will hang in there! Thanks for the support

Jean we are seeing that- We are getting Realtor.com calls- Many buyers are content to do the shopping themselves.

Barbara,

So sorry to hear of your family's situation. I also believe that loyalty is an admirable quality that we find rarely in others.

Best wishes to you.

Howard

I believe the Lord will never put more on us than we can handle. It is not a coincidence in my opinion that your business picks up right when you need it to. I am sorry about your husband's job and wish you all the best.

Barbara, I had a hard day today too. It is great to have a place like AR that we can vent and get such amazing support.

When one door is closed, several more are opened. Your outlook on life and work will determine your success! 

I will also try to take my own advice :-)

Hi Barbara,

Your husband is meant for bigger things.  He has something bigger to accomplish in this life even if we are unsure what it is at the moment.  You and daughter will always be successful in business because you care.  I have gone through what your husband is going through and it took a couple of years to rebound not that I didn't work I did but getting past the disappointment, frustration and anger.  That is why I like real estate and stay independent.  You are all caring and talented people who will only be rewarded with success and happiness. 

Hi Barbara: Keep you chin up! There is often a silver lining. Most or all of us have been through the wars we call life and we just keep on keeping on. I know you and your family will emerge stronger because of this. I know it's not easy right now but tomorrow is a new day! Take care-we're all pulling for you!

Paul

Barbara~ I am so sorry that has happened to you and your family.  I guess you just never know what your future holds, do you?  Just take one day at a time and try to make the best of it and stay positive, don't let it keep you down for too long.  Try to focus on the good things and the blessings that you do have and keep God first in your life and only good can come from that! 

Barbara-loyality is one of those things that seems to be falling by the wayside in today's society.  Hopefully this is just a small glitch in your lives today and will bring better things for your future.

Barbara, this is a rough time for so many of us. Realize that you really do have everything you need to make it through this and get to a sunnier day. God be with you! I am in the same boat, with different circumstances, and we will get through this, one day at a time.

It is hard when people are constantly trying to take with no return, especially if you are a giver.

Oh my - it seems we have reverted to the survival of the fittest.  When times are tough and things are scarce, it seems that loyalty and commitment go first.

That's quite a blow after 30 years. And a great way to ruin a vacation! He needs your support more than ever.

Barbara,

Do your best to smile!

Hang in!

Thanks

Tom Davis

World Class Delaware Realtor

Barbara, Hang in there. I believe every things happens for a reason, even if the reason isn't clear at the moment. As for loyalty... I am wondering if Webster left that word out of the dictionary. Take care! 

Teresa - I think you have something there!

Barbara,

I am so sorry to hear about the tough week you and your family are having.  Hopefully this will just result in something better coming along for your husband.

I have honestly seen this happen many, many times and have been through many situations that ended up better.

Howard- Loyalty is rare but a treasure when it is found in others

Carol- I do believe the Lord has a plan for us- We just to have to "let go and let God"

Lara- I am blown away by the support on ActiveRain- Advice is easier to give advice than to take your own- I hope things inprove for you

Lisa- We would love to be independant but with my husbands situation it is not going to happen for a while.

Paul- With support like this how can tomorrow not be a better day!

Vickie- God First! Great advice!

Cindy- I just hope loyalty does not become what is called an "old fashioned value" We have too many values that are concidered old fashioned-

Dawn- My husband just had this conversation- We do not need a lot and have all we need- in love and family.

Michael- True, my frined on ActiveRain- Peter Nikic did a blog about "Givers and Takers"- I have to go back an reread that one

Joan- It does seem that way- But why to they go first?

Wayne- The good thing about this is the loyalty and commitment that we have is pulling us through- We as a family have closed ranks- my daughters, sons-in-law and grandkids are right here with us- I see those values have been passed to our children and theri children,

Tom- Those who know me- know I am always smiling- I always thought that we make the world a better place with a smile

Teresa- The Merriam Webster online dictionary as this entry for loyalty ( it's still in there since the 15th century):

loy·al·ty

: the quality or state or an instance of being loyal synonyms see fidelity

Christine- I have faith it will be better

Teresa- I think that is true

Barbara, Ouch. I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. Isn't it sad that they didn't at least let your husband know they were considering selling?  Seems they should have, to me.  After 30 years, he didn't need the shell shock.  As for our business, you will be just fine. Loyalty truly pays off in the end. 

I am a true believer that all things happen for a reason....I can't wait to hear what fantastic things come into your life because of all the heartache.  Watch and see!  I always say, " When all the doors are shut, look for a window".  Hang in there, I know great things are in store for you and your family.  Good things happen to good people. 

Elizabeth- I think that is the thing that hurts the worse that we were not even prepared- We will be ok once we are over the "shell shock" Things will be different but different does not necessarily mean bad!

Hello BARBARA,

You know, it doesn't surprise me.  Some people just have no regard for loyalty & are clearly only concerned about themselves.  Loyalty has be replaced by Selfishness...that's what it all boils down to.  But, know that: 1. Troubles don't last always. 2. What goes around comes right on back to you. Have a wondeful week & continue to maintain your loyalties. 

Yvette-I think the comments here are truly selfless- It certainly restores my faith in commitment and loyalty

Good Morning Barbara and Becky -  Your post says great things about the 3 of you.  How sad would it be if you were NOT surprised, shocked and hurt by this event?  What would that say about you and our society?  It is a horrible thing that has happened to your family by people you trusted but thank goodness you still have that capacity to expect better from people.  So many others do not.  They expect the worst and when they get it they say "told you so" !   I love what Becky said about your real estate business picking up  -  a silver lining scenario if there ever was one!   Continue to be strong and supportive of each other and know that good things are on the horizon for each of you!

Barbara,

  Old school employees give loyalty and expect our employers to give it.

Employers feel that they pay us for our work and don't owe us any more. (ususally)

I know it was a slap in the face.  Remember Jeremiah 29:11.

Susan- I never thought of it that way- you are right- our reaction does say a lot about us- Thank you so much!

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you,  says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope" Jeremiah 29:11

Thank you, Brenda

It is a very hard lesson to learn when many of us were raised on loyalty.  Unfortunately, in today's business world the young people grasp it - just like computers and it takes some of the people who've been around for a while a bit to learn that you need to be loyal to yourself and your family. 

When people think about the time energy, blood, sweat, tears, and lost vacations and family time - they never wished they spent more time at work after they've been let go....but they do wish they understood their priorities.

It is a shame that they didn't give your husband an opportunity to purchase the business and went to a stranger first.

Maybe your husband can join you in your business...real estate teams ROCK!

Gosh I hope not.  Sorry to hear about your husbands loyalty not being returned.  It's unfortunately a sign of the times.

Dear Barbara,

I don't know of too many people that can not relate to you and your experience.  I am so sorry and I can emphathize with some of your feelings.  Loyalty is difficult and especially when you have a small business.  We put everything into our family business and sometimes it get to be very challenging.  Not everyone thinks of it as loyalty, but of the bottom line, unfortunately. 

Hang in there, this too shall pass.  During these times is when our character is really tested.  These times have been very challenging for many that have experienced similar stories.  I know it is difficult to understand unless you have been there.  You have been through a very unexpected shock and disappointment and you need to have time to grieve this loss for all of you.  I wish you and your family well.

Barbara,  I learned long enough that so many people put their needs upfront without any regard to the needs of others.  I feel the pain and regret and disapointment in your words.  I hope that you and your family will find strejght to move on and start over.  Remember, anything is possible!

So sorry to hear about your hubby's job. That is a tough one. And in the current RE market am sure it even hurts worse as all of us in the market are struggling as well -- as am sure you likely are too. All the best. May he find a new position soon.

Yvette- Right now I do not think two of us in the real estate market would work- My husband has been supporting our business- Who knows maybe in the future though.

Lyn- an unfortunate sign of the times

Irene- I think the challenge once the swhock wears off will make us stronger- Maybe not change us but show us we can survive.

Joanna- the pain, regret and dissappointment come form the shock- we were totally blind sided

Bob and Carolin- the market makes things more difficult- and the fact that my husband supports our real estate habit- puts us all in a challenge- We will come out stronger

Hi Barbara;

We are faced with many things on this life journey and it is always for our good.  The Joy is in the Journey.  If we can go within and become still the guidance and direction are within waiting on us to acknowledge it.

I worked 14 years on my last job.  Twelve of those years I worked for the original owners of the company (great people).  This company was also a small family owned business.  The owners sold the business to my co-worker and a friend of his.  They had worked together at another firm years past.  To make a long story short, my job position was eliminated and I was told I had a bright future in real estate.  I was working a full time job (32 hrs) and doing real estate all at the same time.  I truly wanted out, but did not know how to let go of the door knob.  I had to have Divine intervention step up and let me know it was time to go.  The Universe had heard my cry.  That was the greatest promotion ever when they let me go.  I love what I am doing because it puts me in a position to live on purpose....."serving others."  What better way to serve using real estate as the instrument to do so.

It was a little scary at first, but it always works out just as it should. 

When I left my old job that day, I hugged both of the guys and said, "Thank you."  I was thanking them for doing something I felt I did not have the courage to do.

Let your husband know it is now time for him to step up higher.  It is a new day with infinite possibilities within him.  May he embrace them all!

Have a wonderful day.

Rosa Addison

Barbara, I sympathize, and don't get me started.  I worked for an airline for 30 years.   Was promised a pension and medical benefits.  They went bankrupt, cancelled their promises with the approval of the government bankruptcy courts.  Paid management millions of dollars and left me with no pension, no medical and a promising real estate career!

Sorry to hear about the job loss and I too have been raked over the coals by people for them to just use another Realtor. I feel that if I've worked hard and even found the home, I should get something. I think I might put a taxi sign on top of my car and charging for the rides.

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