Karen,

Good for you. E-mail filters can be aggressive - and just because you hit send doesn't always mean they received it, especially if this is a first time contact.

You did well. 

Thank you Shailesh.  I am glad that you agree!  I notice you are creeping up to me in Google...  You're keeping me on my toes.

Karen,

I don't think you were too harsh at all. Anyone using email knows that spam filters catch a lot of legitimate email. Besides, there could be a million reasons that someone doesn't respond as quickly as the sender would like. And, despite all of the great things the Internet has allowed us to do, I don't like the expectation that we are all "on" 24/7.

Karen, It is so nice to see you writing again.  You sure have a lot going on.  I can understand why you feel like you do.  You are absolutely entitled to your opinions and your feelings are important.  You probably don't need a customer like the one you described accusing you of lying right from the start.  Sometimes you just have to take a stand and put your foot down,  and there is nothing wrong with that.  We are absolutely allowed to pick and choose our customers, just as they are free to choose or not choose us.  I hope you are feeling better and know that we think of you often. 

Just because we serve clients doesn't mean that we have to be doormats. 

Karen -

Good to see you back in the rain. 

I don't think you were too harsh...and we should all be able to pick and choose are clients.  You go girl.

You absolutely did the right thing.

Karen:  It is ashame that people jump to these types of assumptions and he was indeed rude to go off like that on you without more knowledge that what he was assuming was actually the case here.  That said, I can understand, at least a little bit, why the public is so distrustful of the mortgage "profession".  

As you pointed out, the bait and switch advertising is the norm.  I stopped advertising years ago in a rate box in my local paper because I always looked like I was out of the market because I put up a legitimate quote whereas almost every other lender was lying.  Hell, I've even lost clients who have chased a better rate when I've known that it wasn't available.

If it were me, I would have emailed him back and apologized for the mix up and assured him, as you did, that you would never bait and switch like that and then give him your quote for that day.  Maybe he was having a bad day or maybe he HAD just been baited and switched or something similar.  I would have given him the opportunity to start over.  If he didn't take it, so be it.  If he did and we closed, it would be a win/win.

Glad to see you back on the rain....I wrote about you not that long ago!

Bob Mitchell

ValueList Real Estate Services, Inc. 

Did you get a chance to recommend Vonage?

Welcome back Karen. We're always so happy to have you writing and look forward to your SEO tips when you are up to it.

My partner Allyson and I work with clients "who are excited to work with us." Our lives are too short and our days are too busy to work with anyone else.

I had something similar happen with a buyer of real estate.  He refused to meet me at the office for our first trip out and I refused to meet him.  He sent a couple of grumpy emails to me and I sent back, "If you're difficult with me while it concerns my safety, I can't imagine negotiating a contract will be any easier".  Please call So-in-So at 555-1212 if you'd like to pursue looking for a home.     

Hi Karen.  I'm not making it out your way this spring.  Just posted a blog why, check it out. 

I was sending one of my clients listings and then the day we were scheduled to meet I got an unhappy email about my unresponsiveness.  I was devastated as I knew I had been sending listings.  Sure enough her spam filter had got them and sent them into oblivion.  Fortunately we were able to move on.  It happens and I try to tell my new clients to check their spam folders if they haven't heard from me then let me know.

That's a shame. Why do people jump into a conclusion without giving each other a chance? I think you handled the situation fine. Now go rest and feel better. 

Karen,

Nice to see you back. Shame on that guy for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Talk about making judgments without all the facts. I'd say you're better off without him. 

Karen - Great to hear from you.

Wonderful that you respect yourself and others will respect you in return.

Good to hear from you Karen!

I think you did the right thing, he probably would have been a nightmare to work with!

Karen, hair grows back, no worries. Yes, I even had a AR referral go in my spam filter. It sat there for 2 days, I was so upset, called the agent and it was fine. You're better off with out that level of stress right now. (((hugs)))

Part of the reason I do this job is because I enjoy working with nice people. I also have to option of not working with JERKS. Good decision

Nobody has to take abuse - at any level.  And if your personal/professional standards are such that this is not acceptable, then hold your position.  This guy has some issues, obviously.  One of them is most likely power.  You did it right.  Let it go.  One good client is worth 10 nightmares.  Maybe a few less dollars, but a lot more self respect.

And -- glad to see you posting.  Hang in there.  Your hair will return.  I'm saying prayers for ya. 

Karen,
It's good to have you back in the Rain.  Yes, I agree with you.  I treat my clients with respect and I expect the same in return.  If they can't do that, I'd rather they find another agent. 

Hi Karen - harsh?  Not at all!  I can't imagine writing an email and sending it like that guy did.

No one says we have to work with jerks - send them on their way and move on to someone who does appreciate you.

Glad to see you post again! 
Ann

Obviously, this is just one of those people who are miserable inside, and try to spread their misery around. You, on the other hand, are a peach! :)

Kudos to you! I LOVE your response to this egotistical egghead. I don't know why, with all the glitches that we constantly experience with technology, that it never occurs to so many people that some external circumstance may have prevented you from receiving the message. 

Nice going Karen!  Having been involved in client service of one form or another my entire adult life, I can empathize with this incident.  Some people seem to think it is their right and/or obligation to heap abuse on those who are trying to help them.  I may have lost some clients by standing up to them over the years, but refuse to be a doormat in the name of customer service.  Oddly enough, a few have chosen me because I stand up for myself...some sort of "test" I guess.  Some are sicker than others...  LOL

Karen, good for you!  I have fired clients before and it felt good. You are just as lucky that this guy didn't even get that far.  Who needs that kind of grief when you are just giving rates!!!

Karen,

This guy was a drain and an emotional downer.  At this point you need ONLY positive.  Someone who can't express themselves or is so unhappy they have to "go off" on someone without any facts, is not the kind of client any of us need.   You have the skill and ability and track record to choose who gets your expertise and who misses out.

Don't worry about the hair,  Jessie-Joy has lost hers  3, no 4 times.  And it grows back.  Our middle grandson says he wants "to go see my bald grandma."  Keep up the smiles.

List and Sell (only reasonable people get to have our great service)  Gary @ RentonHomeFinder 

I don't even understand why you needed to consult with your attorney about this.  It's not discrimination to decide not to work with mean, unhappy people who spread a bad attitude around.  Did you know it is perfectly legal to discriminate against people because of their profession?  Found that out a few months ago, hehe.

Karen,

There are bound to be all kinds of Jerks that we run into each and every day. Hopefully we can get through the day with out investing to much emotion over these small eruptions.

I probably would have made this MEMBERS ONLY. My reason would be that every business no matter what kind it is has opportunities to rant. Yet consumers seem most often to flock to businesses that appear to be a smooth running ship. Now we all know that no business runs without these occasional blips. I do think however that people would be drawn more to the company that does not make it an issue.

And if I chose not to make it members only as you did. I probably would not have included your last line and definitely would not have made it BOLD.

This is the type of post that I have written many times then posted it as a draft. Only later to delete or edit it before opening to the public.

Of course this is just my 4 cents worth and like all opinions it is just that. In MY Opinion.

Nice to hear from you again.

Karen,

We have a similar thing going on in the RE industry...a few bad apples ruin it for the good professional and honest agents. None of us should be stereotyped just because the influence of those bad apples that ruin the reputation of the people who are trying to serve our clients. I never understood why someone would want to ruin their own name while trying to take us down with them on their sicking ship.

Hey, Karen, great to hear from you.

I think you handled the situation exactly right;  I certainly would not have taken this guy on as a client - why would anyone?  There is no business I need badly enough to put up with that kind of treatment.  Besides, if someone is in such a hurry, then yes, they need to pick up the telephone!  

I'm not sure I would have bothered to respond to him...LOL...or I would have to had waited a couple of days in order to restrain from telling him what I really thought.  ;-)

Karen - THANK YOU for making this a public post.  I also make my posts like this public, as I have nothing to hide.  I think you handled this in the same way that I have handled rude potential real estate clients.  Good job!

Jason- Thank You for always being so nice to me!

Karen - You were right to say that you weren't a good fit.  I find that folks act differently in email than on the phone or in person... but, you probably wouldn't like him in person either.

Karen -

No way were you to harsh, besides you are absolutely correct in saying pick up the phone!  Email is great but you're never sure the person gets the message!

Good luck to you in fighting your breast cancer, I have a best friend who is fighting it as well.  She has her second surgery Thurs and will probably than start chemo.  My thoughts are with you!! 

I agree with what you did.  I think you did the right thing.

It's great to see you back, and with such a fighting spirit! LOL!~ 

Sometimes we have to go through these things to really determine what's important in life, and where and who we want to spend our time with.  Let's face it Karen, there are some really great people out there, and then there are the schmucks!! 

I know you are a really good person, moral ethical etc., so just move on to the more important stuff in life, and don't let these type of people get you down.  Life and time is precious and to be used the way YOU see best fit. 

Those who know you, love you, and those who don't, who cares!  I think you're a keeper, and I know hundreds of others here who will agree.  You are always in our thoughts and prayers Karen...always!  :-)

Brad & Family 

You thought your spam filter made a mistake with the first email from this guy. Actually the mistake was with the second email....That should have gone in the spam filter too. I think I would have considered his second email " trash" not "spam" and moved it to the appropriate folder manually.

An old salesman once told me that you dont have to do business with everybody. And that its much easier and much more fun to do business with nice people than it is to work with those that are not so nice.  He had a technical name for one group of potential customers...he called them "Jerks" and refused to deal with them at all

Great post. You did the right thing. Most of us in this business try and try hard and we should not get treated like that.

You gotta draw the line somewhere.  I've had to walk away a few sellers.  It's just not worth it sometimes and there will be nothing you can do to satisfy some people so you might as well not expend the emotional energy.  It's necessary in today's market to RUN away from negative people!

I was just thinking about you...(Kind of corny since we have never actually met, but nonetheless, I am being truthful. You have been in thoughts and prayers)

As we all know it takes all kinds to make the world go round.  Unfortanately, the world doesn't go fast enough to fling off some of the people who do not have a good grip on being considerate and polite.

Stand tall!  :)

Karen,

My first piece of advice for anyone who may be thinking of working with me is "I only work with people I can trust and respect and you should too." This was a good call on your part.

It's good that you found out what kind of outbursts he heaps on people BEFORE he became one of your clients and you lost a lot of valuable time and $$ you could have invested in a more satisfying contact.

Peace, Joy, & HEALING!

Hi Karen, 

It's great to see you back on AR.  We have missed you.  It is very hard to to draw the line on surly customers/clients.  Being fairly new to the business, I'm learning when it is time to walk away.  

My friend, some people can be quick to judge as you know.  Too many people are relying on email and text messaging to be 110% reliable which is wrong. I had my email go down for 2 days earlier in the year and no emails got to me and there was no way to retrieve any emails that were sent to me those 2 days.  I have no respect for someone that is quick to judge without knowing all the facts.   It was nice to hear from you again Karen and remember that "Bald is beautiful" and you have a very large contingency here on Active Rain thank think the world of you and love you.

You did the right thing, you stood your ground and let him know the truth, hopefully he will turn around and feel like a complete donkey for throwing accusations like that.  Sometimes we just got to know when to fold our cards or otherwise we would be spinning our wheels for nothing because it sounded like he wasn't going to be an easy customer from the get go.  Good post.

I think the response probably had less to do with you and more to do with how he feels he has been treated by mortgage professionals in general.   I don't respond well to these types of emails either, and would have responded with "I'm sorry I was unable to help you when you needed information. xxx reason.  I wish you the best of luck in your search for a home".  He probably wouldn't have contacted you again and forgot all about you.  With someone so unhappy - you probably have to worry more about him Remembering you and saying bad things about you. 

GOOD for you making this post public!!  I post little hints of subtle "I won't work with you if :fill in the blank:

People here are so freaking demanding.  They need everything yesterday and don't feel that they must show they are a good qualified buyer to begin with.  I can't stand it, won't put up with it and will refuse to work with people like that!

I had one guy call me back in Jan, admitted he was playing the field with several Realtors.  My time is way too valuable to play that game.  I let him go.  He calls me back in a month, wants info and to work with me because his agent is getting non responsive.  I basically said "look dude (maybe didn't use dude) we are all really busy here because the market is hopping, give her the benefit of the doubt already".  Here is another sign, if his current agent is letting him go (even if she isn't swamped) there is a reason for it (HELLO!)

He calls AGAIN in another month and wants to be represented at an auction.  My buyer's agent was going to the auction so I gave that lead over to him.  This guy up and calls my broker because he wants ME to represent him and is willing to sign a buyer's agency agreement.  I call the pest back and he won't sign the BAA UNTIL I SEND HIM GOOD AUCTION PROPERTIES.  I told him good bye and good luck.  I AM NOT WORKING FOR ANOTHER AGENT.

I am NO puppet for my clients.  I don't put up with crap.  I get these types of garbage leads all the time where people snap their fingers and think I am their servant.  I also get leads who don't know how to leave a voice mail or get stranded in my spam folder (like this one) and get deleted.  Then the second contact they are all testy.  I think you did the absolute right thing!

Good post and I am glad you wrote it. I think you did the right thing as well as the others who commented. It is hard to tell the tone of the email, however because it was ALL CAPS - this person was making a point. Good for you!

I think I am going to have to include a disclaimer on outgoing emails as well as on my websites "Email does occassionally get lost or sent to spam land. If you haven't gotten a response to your email, please pick up the phone and call me. I'll provide you with the same common courtesy."  I had a client just a few months ago that was to let me know when she returned to town so we could go look at houses. She sent me an email, but I never got it. She worked herself up to the point of firing me and hiring someone else. Of course, she doesn't say a word to me UNTIL she's under contract six days later. I worked with her relatives and they are raving fans.  When I got her nasty email saying I was fired, I was very upset and angry, to the point of tears. I mean, come on people, just because you send ONE email does not mean that the other person got it and is ignoring/hating/rejecting you. Since when is email fool proof?!

A good fit isn't a good fit. 

I had one of those calls just this morning.  Wants to see the house - (great!)  I ask a few basic qualifying questions (family, lender, etc).  Guy gets upset.  I explain that, in the interest of the seller, I am responsible to make certain that we at least know a few things about the folks we bring into people's home. Guy stays upset and hangs up.

In this market I hate to lose any prospective buyer, but this guy and I weren't a match.  You did the right thing.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Don't turn him away, Karen!  Add the PITA fee when you quote him; the standard is three points

Karen- Good for you! They treat us that way only when we allow ourselves to be treated that way by working with them. We just cancelled 2 listings with a rude seller. Life is too good for us to be torn down by others being rude or whatever. They think you owe them because you get paid a commission or that you are desperate. It is too sad that many agents do allow themselves to be treated this way and become slaves instead of servants to their clients. 

Why in the world wouldn't you be able to tell a rude person to take a flying leap?

You did the right thing.  I would have probably asked him if he'd answered his email to himself yet (since he's the one in the 'to:' field).

Sounds like the kind of guy who screams and yells when he needs something, but is slow to forward requested documents when it's his turn to ante up, if he bothers to at all.  Life is much too short to put up with such silliness.  If this is the first contact, imagine what the rest of the process would be like, especially if there is a hiccup down the line.  I'll tolerate some drama from my clients as a Real Estate transaction is a stressful time in their lives, but not before we have even met or spoken.  Let this guy go find someone else to bully.  I just gave back a listing for only the second time in my career to date over a ridiculously demanding client's ... wait for it ... fiance.  Someone not even in the listing agreement who wanted to scrutinize everything I did, and challenge my efforts at every turn.  It's a partnership, not indentured servitude.

Touche!  I think it is good for us to "flush" people every once in a while (when it is deserved).  We do our best to keep things positive, but there are others who seem to be trying just as hard to bring us down.  I applaud your response to the situation....

Karen - I would say that on that particular day, the spam folder was your friend. That personality type will rear their nastiness sooner or later, and in your case, count your blessings, it was sooner. It's so easy to say you could have done this or should have done that...you handled it in a way that was authentic and based on your inherent sincerity.  Truly offensive behavior is so insideous because it has the first blow, then the aftershocks. What I will say is, it looks lke you are deeply loved by your colleagues, and for that, a thousand offensive blows should be softened by that knowledge.

Hi Karen...I hope you are doing well.  I will be reading your blog on your bout with breast cancer.

Anyone that doesn't realize that, even in this day of the Web, if you want information immediately the best thing to do is make a call.

Nevertheless, this person had no business berating you.  How senseless and non-productive.  Hope you can put him out of your mind quickly.

Please take care,

Kathleen

Karen - I agree with what you've done. I have come to the conclusion lately that some customers are not worth the commisssions they may bring. I've decide to fire customers who are inconsiderate and rude. I can't do a good job for for the same people I want to avoid. Work with people who appreciate good service.

Karen, way to go, life is to short to work with people that have very little respect for individuals.  Have a great week.

No need to work with someone who is obviously got anger issues.  I would have done the same thing.

Karen,

Not even sure if you remember me, but I joined AR in March of last year, and - however unwittingly it may have been - you were personally responsible for teaching me more technical "stuff" than anybody! I'd been so excited by what I was learning at the time, I wrote a "Dedication Post" (of sorts) to 1/2 dozen members - including you of course - and began referring to you as my "Cyber-Space Queen". Anyway...

It is absolutely FANTABULOUS seeing you out-n-about again! You have any more prematurely-judgmental meanies like that, feel free to give 'em contact info to your forever faithful, North-Country Mountain Man. Oh yeah...

Please be certain that your hubby knows I'm head-over-heels in love w/my own wife, and that some of us truly DO "love you for your mind"!   :-)

Missed ya Karen ... so glad you're back!

Scott

Karen,

It's good to see you writing posts again.  I think you did the right thing with this potential client.

I think you did the right thing, that guy would have been difficult to work with!  I hate when emails go to spam! 

Um...yeah.... I agree with your decision. The stress isn't worth the bucks. The dollars just don't add up. :-)

Gee Karen

I am new to this group; and so after reading some of the comments here; I have deduced that you are having a tough time, it would seem.  I don't pretend to know how you feel, but having had other medical issues myself; may I just say: YOU ARE a BEAUTIFUL LADY; and you obviously handle your business affairs with professionalism and grace.

I'm GLAD you're back so that I could have the opportunity to meet you.  Ironically as a Student Advisor with Nouveau Riche; I was just in CHANDLER the second week in April. I and a few partners of mine rented a fabulous condo for the week I attended college and had a lovely time. Are you a native of Chandler? or Relo?  Its beautiful there and truly look forward to returning (actually would like to attend classes coming up in June, but not certain as yet)

Regarding your blog; I know only too well how strict filters can be; and I cannot tell you the amount of LOST or MISDIRECTED emails I get; therefore I DO NOT judge anyone whom I email and they are not prompt on responding.  JUST IN CASE? the same thing has happened? I certainly don't want egg on my face. I can't say for sure the EXACTNESS of how I would have responded to this gentleman because until you (meaning me or anyone else) are the actual recipient; its hard to determine how "THE MOMENT" will all play out. I was not the one "attacked", or "spoken to harshly with punctuation emphasis", I dont know how many times this has happened, etc etc; suffice it to say...NO ONE deserves to be treated as a doormat; NO ONE.  I am NOT perfect by any stretch; but I do really try everyday to practice the Golden Rule (for those with cobwebs? hahaha  DO UNTO OTHERS...) AND I also do believe that if you are running your own business; it is your right to choose "who you will serve"

All things being the same; I believe that I might have tried to explain to him how the communication breakdown ocurred; give him the benefit of starting over; just in case HE was reacting to some adverse treatment and you got caught in the line of fire; and if he melted and responded great; if not?   you can feel good about yourself because of the dignified way you handled this AND the fact that you are an ethical business person and then REPEAT AFTER ME.....NEXT!!!

Karen (and btw that is my sisters name and I LOVE HER) if YOU feel good about your decision and how YOU handled it? THEN THAT was the CORRECT DECISION...PERIOD

Rock On money lady--I will pray for your continued recovery and good health and hope that someday soon we might meet

Have a fabulous day tomorrow

Hugs

Patti Puckett

Broker/Realtor/Investor/Independent Student Advisor with Nouveau Riche

Northern Illinois

Right on Karen......everyone deserves basic respect.....and someone that works ethically everyday deserves even more :)  Some people think they can say whatever they want and it's OK, but there are ramifications and consequences to what we say and or write. this is just my opinion of course (that's for the attorneys....LOL :)