I have found the people who use "Honesty" and "Trust" the most are the people you honestly can't trust.

Faina, I'd have said both things to myself as well. 

I will say it is EXTREMELY UNWISE to promote yourself in an untrue way on this network.  Each and every person here has a blog and knows how to use it.  Be honest and try your best, and if you mess up, say so and apologize.  

As a very wise Chickie says, put on your Big Girl Panties and deal with it.  (Or maybe Big Boy Boxers for you guys???  <Shouldn't have gone there, I realize.)  Faina, you got mistreated and it was WRONG.  A second wrong happened when the person couldn't come clean and just say they messed up.  I'm sorry it happened, and I hope others can learn from both sides of it: Be careful who you trust, and if you screw up, say you're sorry and try to fix it. 

You do see those self descriptions very often. I never tell folks to trust me. I try to develop a relationship that builds the trust!

I believe actions speak much louder than the printed word.  I tend to believe the more people tell you what they are the more likely they are just trying to convince themselves of it.

Sarah Cooper sent me here via Twitter and I am glad she did.  Very good post Faina.  The follow up from a referral is so important.  

Gary - I can see why you could think that way. I so want to believe what people say. If not, it puts in question all my efforts and the efforts of other great contributors on this platform.  

Good morning, Faina. Sorry this happened to you. Trust is built, we begin to trust one another here and when something goes wrong it hurts worse. I think both parts of your notes are true, be wise not everything one says here or any blog can be true. I believe I have many great friends here too and it would be terrible if something happened to you or the people you refer. 

Sarah -this is the most difficult thing to think about: what does one learn from their life experiences. When bad things happen, do you still continue to believe in people, or do you adjust your believes accordingly.I guess, I just don't want to grow up, not in this way at least. Thanks so much for your understanding. Now I can look at all my friends in the MyblogLog and smile -no growing up for me today:)

Great post. I agree we should be honest in our blogs and in advertising. .

Good morning Sarah,

A fine post to be sure! Actions speak louder then words! I live my life, personal and professional forthright.

Those that we deal with are the best sources of advertising. Be honest with yourself and those you come in contact with and you won't have to tell anyone that you are Honest, Dependable, Fair, etc. Your following will do it for you.

Missy - Active Rain to me was more then a water cooler or blog publishing software. It implied built-in trust by association. Sort of like soldiers. They may not know each other well, but in one battalion they have each others back. Some give their life to save the brother-soldier. We don't need anything that dramatic here. All we need is to treat others-consumers and real estate professionals, like we want them to treat us. That should be easy, right?

Maureen -I already thanked Sarah:) It's hard to write in euphemisms. I am not sure what I would think if I read this post, without knowing what has happened. Suffice to say, real estate deals with things, if done improperly, could result in big money losses. In see people in financial industry making big deals on a handshake, or a phone call, because of the implied trust. Here i go with this word again.

Bob -that could have been the case. But how does one ascertain actions from the blog? Don't we want people to believe what we write? What is the point otherwise? Thanks for checking this out early Sunday:)

OK - I don't profess to know it all or make it happen without error.  I'd never try to promote myself as being able to deliver products or services that I really can't.  My profile here says... I'm a REALTOR® that you can trust & count on.  Do I need to change that? 

A bad experience is a lesson learned.  Don't give up on people .

Faina, I have to agree with your post and with the other comments you've been receiving. Those who need to proclaim their virtues the loudest are often the ones to avoid.

Gita -thanks, friend.

Harold - i am not sure if you were answering me (Faina) or Sarah, but I think we see it very similar. Your idea of not talking about honesty, but just doing it seems like a great one to me.

I don't think you have to say your trustworthy for people to know your trustworthy even in words.  If you blog about your experiences and the way you handle them, your character and personality will come out without you having to premise it with. "I am trustworthy and Honest"

Honesty and trustworthy is a given.

I just want them to answer their phone.

Faina,  Yes, the honesty should be in all of our lives and we shouldn't have to yell about it.  Our relationships will be built on this and the trust comes with it. Sorry something happened to break that trust.

Nancy - I can't tell anyone what to say or what to write. Unfortunately, even the Realtor designation, could mean different things to different people - depends on their personal experiences. Thanks for your comment.

Lenn - "Honesty and trustworthy is a given" -that's what I thought, until I was proven wrong. Oh, answering the phone -could that be too much to ask?:)

Faina - I don't know what prompted this post, but it sounds like it was bad, since I rarely see you get upset. I agree with the points you made here, though. Have a great Sunday -

Faina, I can empathize with you.  I don't ever feel like that I have to say I am honest or  trustworthy because I think it is a given that I am.  Actions do speak louder than words.  I can feel your pain, it is very disappointing when things like that happen. 

Steve - in my book everyone is allowed to say what ever they want on their blog - as long as they can stand behind their words. People could also make mistakes -we are not robots (though they must break once in a while too). When professionals make mistakes, they make sure it doesn't cost their customer. 

Jason - I am human, I do get upset. I promised myself at the start of my AR tenure not to "do negativity" -there was enough of it then without my contribution:) I sort of broke my word -unless I look at this post in a positive way, which I do. Plus, I am not really so good at euphemistic writing:)

All of this is small compared to what you had to deal with this weak. Thanks for being here.

Faina, however relationships are developed eventually you have to earn a reputation. People stick with good referrals and will never do one again if they are burned. Probably some Active Rain referrals work out fine, others are disastrous. You just have to work with each person and see how they are. All great points you made.

Faina.... I can see that you have been writing a lot lately. I just haven't been around in several weeks to comment. But trust and honesty can be dissected in several different fashions/manners. I see many use 'trust' in their blogs often also and I think Gary makes a good point in his comment. But I also think integrity is one that is over-looked and can be a part of trust. Delays can be criticized, but not changing anything also needs to be looked at. But once someone understands the whole process of real estate or mortgages, it's easier to assume and judge. Especially when you speak to someone else within that same industry, will the other side be negative on how it was handled. One thing that I have always learned, life is not perfect nor always easy. And it is very unfortunate when something negative does happen. 

Gary - you are right. You probably wouldn't know until you work with someone. Even then, there may be exceptions. Thanks for your comment.

Jeff -thanks for your comment. I used to post every day, but haven't been writing as much lately for various reasons: there were some difficult transactions I was dealing with also.

I am not sure how to look at trust in different ways. IMO it's kind of binary -you either trust someone or you don't. A friend of mine says she has a "sixth sense" for it. I don't- I just go from experience.

In my comment to Steve I said: "People could also make mistakes -we are not robots (though they must break once in a while too). When professionals make mistakes, they make sure it doesn't cost their customer."

The only other thing I can add is that when mistakes happen -one stands tall, admits them, explains them (if the customer wants to know, some may not care), doesn't shift blame and makes the customer whole. Customers usually don't care about our hardships, they want what's best for them.

Just an example. An agent I know had a listing contract with a repeat customer. The second contract was for more % then the first. At some point after they signed the listing agreement, they said- we want to pay less %(like the first time). The agent had the signed contract for more %, yet she gave the customer what they were asking for out of her commission. She now has a third listing contract with them and glowing references. 

I learned that in financial industry they make customers whole to the tune of millions. That's how they value trust.

Faina- We have found that the people in life who are always talking about honesty and trustworthiness are the very ones screwing others and can not be trusted. It is as though they are wishing they could be that way but are not performing in a manner to develop trust. I have learned to run away from people who are all talk about being honest and trusting. 

It shows in your actions and not your words so there is no need for me to bring it up. I don't have to prove my trustworthiness or my honesty by touting it all over the place.