I like it except for a couple points that should be stronger - apply for the job of selling your home. (good Mike Ferry bit) and then later "devise a plan that will get it sold!" Sounds more definate & positive. Strengthen up the listing with a smaller realtor I think too. No mention if the expired agent is a "newbie"  agent - then I mention things like "they were practicing on your home".  "Experience counts - don't want them practicing on your home.

Hope that helps!  Lyn

Great use of Active Rain. As a person who loves the written word, I was drawn to your post.  All-in-all, I think your letter is good.  You might consider taking out the 2 paragraphs entirely that talk about the company size and the offer to explain why the home hasn't sold.  I feel like you only get about 5 seconds to interest them when someone is reading an unsolicited letter.  I could be wrong, but it might be worth a try.  You can explain the other stuff in person. Good luck!

Good points. I was unsure if I should dwell on being with a smaller firm. Did you mean that "apply for the job " should be stronger?

Tara 

Thanks Holly I was trying to address their misgivings about a smaller firm straight off and get it out of the way. Maybe It comes off as apologizing.

It has been shown that people read letters first by looking at who they are from..so make your signature line say something

Then the PS..so move your website somewhere else and give them a real "bang" on the PS line..ie..I've sold 18 houses in the 176 days your home has been on the market, let's sit down so I can tell you how.

and then their name..the rest is all a blurr to the reader.

Okay, Here is a new version. I think it's better. 

Dear  Mr.

If I could show you why your home hasn’t sold in 178 days, would you give me 30 minutes of your time?

Hello,

My name is James Painting and I am a realtor with Silverman Realty Inc. I have noticed that your home was recently taken off the market, so I am writing to see if you still have an interest in selling. I would appreciate the opportunity to apply for the job, discuss your real estate needs and update you on current market conditions in Jacksonville.

I know you may be feeling discouraged, confused or frustrated. Sometimes a fresh perspective is in order. You can start anew with a team of realtors who employ the latest marketing strategies that are designed to get your home in front of as many prospective buyers as possible. These are tried and true methods that when combined with our hard work, enthusiasm and expert negotiation skills, offers you the best chance of seeing that “SOLD” sign in your front yard.

I can show you why your home hasn’t sold and together we can devise a plan that will get your home sold! In Jacksonville’s buyers market you need realtors who have experience with  marketing techniques that  will get your home sold for full market value in a reasonable amount of time. My wife Tara and I work as a team and will offer you our years of combined experience selling homes in Jacksonville and an unconditional 90 day listing agreement that you can cancel at anytime with no fees to you. We get paid when you get paid. At closing.

If you are ready for a fresh start, call us at (904) 874-3569. We’re ready to work for you!

Sincerely,

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Silverman Realty Inc.

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I like the new version now, very short, sweet & too the point. Sounds strong & professional. Don't forget they will be leary of everyone now they have been "burned" as they might think the first time around. You should write some letters for me! Realtors is supposed to be capitalized & have that copyright thing after it ya know.

Lyn Sims

Hi James & Tara, I will send you my 10 page letter that works wonders if you like....just need your email address. I know 10 pages is a lot, however it works, and the reason it works is because of it's length. Dick Beals

Lyn Yes I agree short and sweet is better. Thanks for your help!

Dick I would love to see your letter. I've sent you an email with my e address. Thanks alot! 

I like your new version better; it's shorter and more to the point.  On the other hand, I want to read Dick and Sandy Beals' 10 page version.

Mike in Tucson